we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
