Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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