In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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