Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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