when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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