we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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