I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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