miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
