okay pat passed out under dana's car
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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