grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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