I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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