this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
