ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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