it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
