your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
