I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
