Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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