we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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