just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
