Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize