um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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