Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize