if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i came on her dog
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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