next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
