Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Boobs speak an international language.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
