She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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