Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I have tasted many bathrooms
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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