Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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