Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I had to cum in my sink.
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