Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
