I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
