My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
