yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
