i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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