I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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