i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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