So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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