i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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