I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
