As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
