I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
This baby is an asshole
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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