if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
