I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
As shirtless as possible
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
