Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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