Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
