Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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