he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
