Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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