Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
