good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
