HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
