I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
