Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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