Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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