I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize