so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
