does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
