She went from zero to smokin in five shots
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
