Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
