I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
