I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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