My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
