We won't sleep together?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
