who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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