I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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