Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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