Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
